It’s the eve before your first birthday, my sweet Sun, Ocean Poet.
Wild to think that it has taken me a year to sit down and write the story of your birth.
Something has been holding me back. Time. Wounding. Disbelief. Love. I’m really not sure.
But I feel ready now. To feel into the experience and share it.
Sitting here about to embark on the privilege of writing down your experience from within to without, I still cannot comprehend mentally that my body grew you, birthed you, and has now breastfed you for 12 months. It is all just such a beautiful miracle. From nothing comes a human being.
So… here we go.
You were born 12 days past your due date. And those were twelve LONG days. Everyone I knew who was pregnant had already had their baby. It felt like you were going to stay put forever.
Technically, you weren’t late by my calculations because you weren’t conceived while I was ovulating. You were conceived by Astrological times that I would be fertile because of the Sun and Moon under which I was born… so about 8 days after ovulation. Fortunately, I was able to get our incredible Ob/GYN to change your due date from February 10th to the 14th which definitely helped.
About 10 days “post-dates”, we went to see our fabulous midwife, Mary Jackson for a non-stress test. All looked good with you from the fetal monitoring. She checked me internally and said it would probably be at least another 48 hours. My cervix was still high and posterior and no effacement or dilation happening. Nothing. She also said that my face didn’t have the “look” yet. She asked me to check in with her on that Friday (2 days later) because she wanted me to start some herbs and see if they would help bring labor.
Honestly, I was ready to have you here. I wasn’t sleeping well. My pelvis ached. My face felt so bloated and puffy. My fingers throbbed with fluid retention.
I just felt that I was waiting even though everyone told me to enjoy my free time and this space before. But, I was too impatient.