A few months ago, I wrote about the need to “protect” oneself and there was such an outpouring of responses that I decided to delve more deeply here.
Here is what I often hear when women are sharing their challenges and struggles:
1. Many women describe that there are people in their lives (generally significant/close relationships like mother, father, partner, sister, friend) who they have noticed it doesn’t feel “good” to be around.
They say things like, “When I am talking on the phone with my mom for longer than 20 minutes or when I am with her for more than 2-3 days, I get exhausted. Sometimes I actually get a headache and a stomachache.”
By the way, this is not limited to only moms, but for the sake of this email, I am sticking with this relationship. It can be anyone – father, sister, brother, boss, friend, partner, etc.
2. Many health practitioners also tell me that after working with their clients, they find themselves unable to fall asleep or their dreams are full of their client’s stories or sometimes, they even feel (emotionally or physically) what their client feels.
Both of the above examples show us that your body is in need of energetic protection.
What is happening is that our bodies are trying to communicate with us constantly. Our bodies are so incredibly brilliant that they are trying to keep us safe, protected, and out of harms way. So, if you are exhausted after spending time with your mom for a few days, there is an underlying message.
Most often, the message is that it is time to create healthy and appropriate boundaries and that deep inner inquiry into deep-set past pains (anger, guilt, sadness) is required.
Most of us don’t want to be bothered doing this “work”. We don’t want to create boundaries out of fear of hurting another. How many times have you wanted to limit your phone call with your mom only to stay on because you don’t want to “rock the boat” or “deal with the repercussions”?
Or we don’t want to feel into our hurt of a mother who was absent or abusive because it IS incredibly painful.
So rather than place ourselves as a priority and make powerful shifts, we ignore the language of our body. And things don’t ever change.
We push against our inner wisdom that is desperately trying to get our attention.