Transforming Your Feminine Legacy

Last month I was privileged to teach workshops at a festival called Lightning in a Bottle.

And one of the practices I shared is called,  “Transforming Your Feminine Legacy”.  I love this practice so much that I am currently teaching it in my Cycles of Wisdom online program and with women who Mentor privately with me.

As women, we have learned how to navigate in the world from our Mothers or Aunties or Grandmothers.  Some of these teachings empowered us and made us feel as though we could accomplish and achieve anything because of our unique skills and talents.

And some of what we were taught was actually absorbed on a subconscious level.  Beliefs about what was possible about ourselves and the world.

Now, many of you know that many of these beliefs are actually untruths.  What?!?!  I know.  Just bear with me for a moment.  We picked these beliefs or patterns up somewhere along the course of our lives and later had experiences that validated them.   Validation = Truth.

And yet, when we delve into these beliefs and unfurl the threads, we see where the truths are actually untruths.  We see how experiences in our lives were interpreted through the mind of a child and became our foundations – to keep us safe, to keep us as a favorite, to keep our parents happy and on and on.

So, as we journey into becoming more and more of the women we desire, we get caught on these beliefs from time to time (and sometimes for long periods of time).

And the only way to have the life you desire and BE the woman you imagine is to fearlessly unhook these interpretations and discover your truths.

When I facilitate this practice of “Transforming your Feminine Legacy”, there are common themes that I hear.  And this is one of the pieces that makes this exercise so profound.  That we, as women who are on a spiritual or personal growth path, are in this together.  We have similar stories.  Slightly different characters and scenes, but a commonality.

Here are a few ways women were taught to be in the world:

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My Favorite Flower Essence for Courage

We all need courage.

There is not one person on the planet who doesn’t want to increase their level of courage.

Courage is needed to face your fears, to create new patterns and ways of being in the world, to deepen your intimacy and trust, to end relationships that are comfortable but not serving your highest good, to follow your passions, to heal your past, to speak your truth, to stand in your value.  Life takes a significant amount of courage.

And, sometimes it can feel easier to ignore or suppress your fears or doubts or anxieties because to really change your current circumstances takes a lot of heart and soul, a lot of courage.

Watch the latest episode of WomanRising TV to find out which flower essence is the BEST to increase your courage and access what is already within.  This flower is FULL of upliftment so that you can say YES to all of your hearts desires.

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Birth and Death. And the Miracles In Between.

It been one year today since my Oma passed.
It’s amazing how much I have felt the absence of her presence.

So many times I have tried out a new recipe this year and wanted to share it with her.
So many times I have wanted to share a celebration with her.
So many times I have just wanted to her the sheer excitement in her voice because she is talking with me.
So many times I have wanted to feel her Love.

I miss her so much. And I know parts of her essence live within.

Thinking of her so much today and how much I love her.

I first published this blog about a week after she passed and it was my most read and commented blog.  I received so many emails from women about their own grandmothers and the love present between grandmother and granddaughter.

If you are going through a loss or are grieving, I am reposting this for you.

My beloved grandmother, my Oma, passed away on June 1st, 2013.  I was blessed to be with her for the last day and a half of her life.  To lie in bed next to her, whisper in her ears, hold her hands (oh, I love her hands!)… these last moments are so precious to me.

There is so much to say about my Oma.  She taught me the joy of growing my own veggies and flowers.  She gifted me with a love for Nature and her beauty.  She taught me the art of flirtation – she knew how to bat her gorgeous blue eyes.  As a Holocaust survivor, she taught me that life is to be lived to its fullest and that every moment is one to be delighted.  She taught me to follow my dreams and work hard.  She showed me an epic love affair with my Opa.

This is her legacy that she passed to me and that I will pass to my children and grandchildren.  Her blood runs in my veins… we are of the same lineage.

Death.  It is so surreal, right?  One moment I am speaking to her on the phone while she is wishing me a happy birthday, and within a flash, I am watching her take her last breath.

As a Birth Doula and Midwife Assistant for 7 years, I supported more than 150 women as they crossed into motherhood.   I always assumed that death was similar to birth but had never witnessed someone as they walked through this threshold.  The first breath, the last breath, the beginning and the end…. the cycle of life.

So, here are the similarities:

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40% off Birthday Celebration!

Yesterday was my birthday.  I am 37 years old…. wowza!  I can’t believe another year has come and gone.

I am in Big Sur right now celebratin’!

There is so much that I learn about myself and the world every year.  Lots of small insights and then, of course, times of deep remembrances and truths.  Sometimes life is easy and joyful.  Sometimes it is messy and painful.

I thought about sharing a year in review for you but then I decided to focus on the last month as it has been quite intense and full of massive surrender, growth, and change.

I know many women are going through transitions right now and I thought this might be helpful for you.

Here goes…

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The practice of Naming

If you don’t know, this spiritual powerhouse is running for a seat in Congress.  Alanis Morisette sang and the theater was packed with hundreds of people interested in bettering the world.

Every Monday night, she rents out a theater and gives a talk with time for Q & A.  I have gone to many of these evenings and I am always impressed by her generosity (of her time and expertise) as well as her incredible intelligence (she can rattle off statistics for hours).

Besides being applauded for her work in sharing the teachings of A Course of Miracles, she invites every person to take a political stand.  She believes that as conscious beings, it is essential that we move into the political arena and shine our light into the darkness that is living there.

One of the things she mentioned last night that really resonated with me is that every political movement starts out personally.  Freedom from slavery, women’s rights, Native American justice.   An individual stands up first and then the government follows.  With enough momentum, the individual can create a collective shift.

What happens for many of us is that we feel apathetic.  We feel the devastation happening in our own country and around the world but we feel powerless to actually making changes.  So, we ignore and move on.  We put our feelings into some hidden vault within and we pretend they are not there.  Or we bring them out at dinner parties as conversation pieces but never act on them.

And of course, this conversation can be reflected into our personal, individual lives.

So, I started thinking about my own life.

Where am I being apathetic?

What am I not addressing for fear of what will then change?

Generally, I know when I need to make a big shift in my life.  I have a tendency to ignore these “knowings” for awhile.  I hold on to what is familiar, what is comfortable because it can feel easier.

But avoiding my feelings is actually not easier.  It only prolongs what I know needs to change.  It can be exhausting and truthfully, it’s not in alignment with my commitment to my inner evolution.

There have been times in my life that I knew a relationship wasn’t working or my health was not at its best or my finances had run low.  And rather than “deal” with it and address what was happening and why, I moved forward, put a smile on my face and pretended that all was good.

But on the inside, my doubts and fears and anxieties were bubbling up, waiting for permission to erupt.

So, what to do?  If we are in fact conscious beings, we must shine light and love into all of the prickly, dark, messy parts of us.

For me, a powerful practice is Naming.

Give a name to that which is present.  Naming invites awareness.  Naming invites that my attention is now focused on this very thing I have been avoiding.

Naming might mean saying that you are not being met in your relationship and it is time to part ways.
Naming might mean that you are being a victim rather than empowered.

Naming might mean that you are in fact scared that your bank account is low and you need to get a J-O-B.

Naming gives context to your fear and anxiety.

Naming takes a lot of courage because once you do this, there is no turning back.  No avoiding or ignoring.  You have just given presence to that which is not serving your greatest evolution.

So, tell us in the comments below:

What have you been avoiding for fear of heartache or pain?

What needs your attention?

What shifts are absolutely necessary right now?

Name this and move forward.

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This isn’t what my mom taught me about my Moon Cycle

I have learned a lot from my mom. I credit her for my deep knowing that I must go after my dreams. My mom has been self-employed for the last 30 years and I watched her bust her ass to achieve her dreams and reach her successes.

I have learned that generosity is one of the most beautiful qualities we can give to the world.

I have learned how to cook watching her in the kitchen. I am pretty sure that I got my green thumb from her. In the spring and summers, she would start every morning in the garden. She would connect to the plants and Nature before rushing off into the busyness of life.

I have learned the importance of family from her. At times growing up, feeling annoyed and inconvenienced by being with family and now, in such deep gratitude for the ties that have been created.

She has been with me through everything – bad breakups, possible pregnancy, college dramas, road trippin’ across the country, adventuring around the world.

Truthfully, even as I write this, there is so much that I am reflecting on in my life that is accredited to her love and presence.

But, this isn’t what she taught me:

  • To slow down
  • To consciously choose things everyday that fill my vessel (rather than only deplete)
  • To honor my menstrual cycle
  • To connect the dots between how I feel emotionally and what I feel in my body

Last week, I shared about my personal transformation around building my life around my cycles to access more energy, wisdom, and power.

And, I will tell you, having been raised by a mom who taught me to push and push to achieve my dreams, I often have a lot of internal push back about slowing down and following my internal rhythms.

Those few days before I bleed and even those first 2 days of my cycle, when I am laying on the sofa with my hot water bottle and a good book or movie, I can fall into feeling:

  • Self-indulgent
  • Lazy
  • Weak ‘cause I have given in to my body

But, that’s not the case at all. This is simply my conditionings coming up. And I have been in the practice of catching them before I start to believe them as truth.

I feel so good when I am honoring my body’s wisdom and her cycles. And I find freedom when I recognize the deeply imprinted conditionings around hustling and doing.

When I slow down, life becomes waaay more pleasurable.

When I slow down, I feel the potency of connecting to my body.

When I slow down, I use my energy more effectively.

When I slow down, I have the space to contemplate my life.

When I slow down, I access my creativity.

I would love to have you be part of this deep conversation. Join
me on May 1st at my Free virtual Workshop where you will find out
my favorite tips and tools for Embracing Your Cycle and
experiencing less stress, pain, and irritability every month.

Register here

Lets peel back the layers and layers of “stuff” that gets in the
way of life and womanhood.

And don’t worry if you can’t make the call. When you sign up, you will automatically get sent the recording.

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