Walking towards your Desires

Ahhhhh…. I am just re-emerging from the sacred container of the Wild Sacred Women Maui retreat.  There is so much present for me after being in Maui for 2 1/2 weeks and walking the beautiful path of Sisterhood during this retreat.

I truly want to share so much of it with you, and I also know that there is still so much integrating.

What I know to be true:

  • I fell in LOVE with the courageous women who said YES to this retreat.  My heart literally felt as though it might burst from this Love.
  • I was reminded of my Divine gifts that have been offered to me from Spirit.
  • Sisterhood is the salve that will heal many of our wounds.
  • Mother Earth is the sweetest nectar to remind us of our place on the planet… and for deep healing to occur within.
  • Getting away from daily routines is crucial for our continual unfoldment.

So, with all of this said (and more to come), I want to share a powerful story with you.  I am going to make it as short as possible, but it is a bit windy as all good tales are.  And I share this because I know that it is going to resonate with you as you make your way towards your Holy Desires.

Once upon a time…. (About 8 months ago)….
My dear friend and sister Achintya Devi and I dreamed our visions into form.  We chose to have our Wild Sacred Women retreat in Maui because she lives there and I have lived there and often refer to it as my “heart home”.

And so we booked a retreat center called Hale Akua on Door of Faith Rd.

Now, Door of Faith Road might be one of my favorite roads in Maui.  When I first moved there at age 24, I lived on this road and then lived there again for a short stint when I was 26.  It is nestled through valleys and rests along the cliffs overlooking the Ocean.  The Green of Nature plus the Blue of the Ocean leaves a lasting visual expression.

A little backstory here:
When I lived on Door of Faith, there was a retreat center down the road called Shangri-La.  And yes, it was named this because it feels like a remote place that is simply perfect.  I used to sneak in there at night and use their hot tub.  Their hot tub is just on the cliffs, so I would sit there in the Moonlight, staring at the Ocean, and making wish after wish.

And years later, I had a friend who was visiting Maui from Los Angeles.  He was staying at Shangri-La as he was participating in a retreat there.  He invited me one afternoon to come by.

He showed me all around the retreat center (which I knew from sneaking in a couple years prior) and then he showed me his room.  It was gorgeous.  Literally right on the cliffs.  Imagine rolling over in a King size bed and seeing the bluest blue of the Ocean.  Imagine a bathroom with plants growing out of the floors so that you feel Nature is with you.  Imagine a shower that is right next to a wall of sliding glass doors so taht you can open them and you hear the waves crashing below as you soap up your sacred Temple.

Ummm… sounds beautiful right?

At that time in my life, I was living in Maui and although life was relatively good, things were not going according to my “well-visioned” plan.  I was in a rather dysfunctional relationship where I found myself crying a lot.  I was doing work that wasn’t in service to others in a powerful way, and I was barely making any money.

Being in my friend’s luxurious space, I felt really, really envious.  I kept hearing myself say, “When will it be my turn?  When will I get to stay in a place like this or even get to go on retreat?”  Envy, lack, and sadness pervaded my body although I wanted to be happy for my friend.

So…… fast-forward 10 years.  I am pulling our car into Hale Akua and I realize that it is Shangri-La (renamed).  This place I had snuck into years prior was actually the place that I was co-leading a retreat!  So not only did I not have to sneak in, we had the place all to ourselves for one week.

And so we unloaded and unpacked the car and settled in.  And after the first night, we asked Hake Akua to give us a different room.  It was rather stormy and the room we were in was very damp.

At first, they weren’t sure where to move us but then they said they had a room.

I walked into our new room, and my knees buckled from underneath me.  Here I was, in the same room I had stood 10 years prior, the one in which I had experienced such a deep envy.  And now, this was my room for a week as I co-facilitated an epic Women’s journey.  The tears came.  The realization that I was on my path the entire decade before was mind-blowing.

I have a teacher who says that the way to stay on the path to your desires is through seeing Driftwood.

“Driftwood appears as little clues that what you seek is indeed seeking you.” – Mama Gena

 

Feel into that for a moment.  What you seek, is actually seeking you.  When you feel envy or jealousy or comparison, it is because what you seek is already seeking you.

Along these past 10 years – through an intense break up, a move to Los Angeles, building a business that was successful only to course correct that business and re-build, creating community, falling in love again – I kept looking for morsels from Spirit that I was on my path.

And as you know, sometimes those pieces of driftwood are so tiny that you have to take out your magnifying glass and TELL yourself that they are there.  They look more like crumbs.  Other times, they shine with such deep splendor that you know you are walking towards your desires.

The thing about driftwood is that it appears to remind you that you are in the process of creating your desire.  It is truly like a clue in a scavenger hunt that is pointing you onwards.

So maybe the desire hasn’t been met yet, but you are moving towards it.

I know that you understand this.
I know that you have great desires.
And I know that it can sometimes feel that you might not ever reach them.

Yes, it might take a month to conjure your beloved partner.  It might take 6 years.  It might take 3 years to build the business of your dreams.  But, allowing driftwood to be your compass will be one of your greatest treasures along your journey.

I did see some driftwood over the past ten years but never did I think Shangri-La was a massive piece of wood that had ushered onto the shores to show me I was headed in the right direction.  So, my sister, you must always look for signs.

So, for this week’s practice, I would love to invite you to:
1.  Write down one of your deepest unmet desires.

2.  Take an inventory of your life over the last year.
Have there been pieces of driftwood, that you may or may not have recognized as such?  Driftwood in my story was me sneaking into Hale Akua and soaking in the tubs to get nourished.  It was me having envy… my Soul recognizing my desires.
Driftwood may not be totally apparent in the moment.  It might not look exactly as you think it is going to appear.
It might be a job that you weren’t hired for (even though you wanted it), the guy who stood you up, the car you couldn’t buy, the argument with your Mother.

3.  How can you keep moving towards your desires?
Once you have acknowledged the Driftwood, you must keep moving forward.  It can be easy to get frustrated or irritated with the pace at which our desires manifest.  But, you are being sent messages from the unseen which provide your YES to nudge you forward.  So, what more can you do on your end to get this desire in the physical, perhaps more quickly?

4.  Share in the comments below.
You are not alone.  Every woman is constantly creating more desires.  Every woman has moments she feels that time is ticking by and the frustration at unmet desires kicks in.  It is beyond valuable to know that others are walking beside you.  Share the magic of driftwood.

You, my sister, deserve to experience the whisperings in your Soul.
Take a moment to reflect on your desires and the offerings that are being gifted to you, letting you know that someday, they will come into form…. perhaps in an even more magnificent way than you had ever imagined.With Love....
And Remembering the Ways of the Feminine™,
Joanne Ameya


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Comments

Walking towards your Desires — 7 Comments

  1. Thanks so much for this blog post. Life has been hard for me for the last 5 years to the point Im feeling drained and tired and somedays I wonder if my dream will come true. Your article has made me realise that there is always a sign which sometimes can be very easy to overlook. Its so easy to focus on the bad instead of the good. I have so much to be grateful for and just recently I have made the decision to finally go for my dream it is baby steps but its happening and now that Im fully behind it things are starting to happen and Im meeting people that are opening doors for me and helping me create my dream. Thanks for reminding us of this. Your retreat sounds amazing what happened at the retreat and how often do you host them?
    Much love
    Mel

    • Mel,
      This is beautiful. I think we can all relate to this….. feeling tired, wondering if your dreams will ever happen.
      The signs are our little morsels to keep moving forward. And it seems that as long as you keep your heart open, you are
      aware of these potent messages from Spirit, urging you forwards. I really look forward to hearing what happens over the next few months
      with these doors that are opening.

      As for the retreat, it is called Wild Sacred Women. We explore who we are in the context of Woman as Temple and Woman as Leader.
      And the Sisterhood that is cultivated is exquisite… this is truly the foundation for us to move through our obstacles and
      embrace our Desires. Our next retreat will be at the end of July in either California or British Colombia. You will definitely be hearing about it!
      Much Love to you too Sister ~

  2. Such a beautiful story Sister Goddess!!! It had particular resonance for me because when I was 18, I spent a month at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur. It completely transformed my view of the world, and shaped my life. There, I learned about body work that released trauma from the system, and other mind-blowing therapies. There, I soaked in hot tubs on cliffs overlooking the crashing Pacific below.

    It has always been my desire to be there again leading workshops. I relish the moment that I am there as a workshop leader. And yes, driftwood comes…

    Thank you for sharing this amazing story and this other-worldly photo of these gorgeous women. I honor all of the inspiration that you are birthing into the world.

    With Great Love,

    Carla

  3. I love this post Joanne. What a beautiful story and such an amazing thing to experience, I can imagine your surprise, and staying in that exact room, so epic. you know as I was reading I could see how “what you seek is seeking you” has being showing up for me in the last couple of years. Sometimes it is more often than others, but where those little driftwood pieces then ones that led me to you, to flowers essences, moon cycling and so much more… but what amazes me the most is that all this that I am doing right where already calling my name more than 10 years ago, and just like in your story it was all meant to happened, with divine timing 😉 This is by far one of the best moments of my life and is just the begging. thank you for sharing, love you! val

  4. Thank you so much for the reminder friend. I haven’t thought about driftwood in this way… and it’s been a while since I’ve remembered to look at envy and longing in this way. I started on your exercises and discovered that I have some uncovering to do. Thank you. Thank you.