Last month I was privileged to teach workshops at a festival called Lightning in a Bottle.
And one of the practices I shared is called, “Transforming Your Feminine Legacy”. I love this practice so much that I am currently teaching it in my Cycles of Wisdom online program and with women who Mentor privately with me.
As women, we have learned how to navigate in the world from our Mothers or Aunties or Grandmothers. Some of these teachings empowered us and made us feel as though we could accomplish and achieve anything because of our unique skills and talents.
And some of what we were taught was actually absorbed on a subconscious level. Beliefs about what was possible about ourselves and the world.
Now, many of you know that many of these beliefs are actually untruths. What?!?! I know. Just bear with me for a moment. We picked these beliefs or patterns up somewhere along the course of our lives and later had experiences that validated them. Validation = Truth.
And yet, when we delve into these beliefs and unfurl the threads, we see where the truths are actually untruths. We see how experiences in our lives were interpreted through the mind of a child and became our foundations – to keep us safe, to keep us as a favorite, to keep our parents happy and on and on.
So, as we journey into becoming more and more of the women we desire, we get caught on these beliefs from time to time (and sometimes for long periods of time).
And the only way to have the life you desire and BE the woman you imagine is to fearlessly unhook these interpretations and discover your truths.
When I facilitate this practice of “Transforming your Feminine Legacy”, there are common themes that I hear. And this is one of the pieces that makes this exercise so profound. That we, as women who are on a spiritual or personal growth path, are in this together. We have similar stories. Slightly different characters and scenes, but a commonality.
Here are a few ways women were taught to be in the world:
- Being independent and relying solely on yourself
- Pushing yourself for external validation
- Feminine actually means being less than or subservient
- It is better to be a “good girl” than to speak your truth
And now many of these women (myself included) have found themselves:
- In relationships with power struggles
- Fearful of deepening into intimacy with a partner
- With careers that do not support their true gifts
- Holding back their voice so as not to make others uncomfortable or hurt
- With little or no boundaries… a stomping ground
So, my sister, part of your healing is “Transforming your Feminine Legacy”.
Time to create a new legacy. For yourself. And for all of the women who come after you.
Pretty powerful, don’t you think?
You get to be the woman who says this is not going to continue for me or for any woman who comes after me in this family lineage.
If you are ready, here are some questions to begin with:
- What was the negative story about being a woman that you grew up with? What did you learn about being a woman? (Of course you can acknowledge the positive pieces but most of us are being held back in life, work, and relationships because of the negative aspects.)
- How has this shown up in your life?
- Do you like this behavior? Does it support your greatest desires?
- Are you ready to transform this?
- What commitment can you make today to changing this behavior or belief?
And now we get to share.
Your comments on the blog are a big part of healing for each of us. To know that we are not alone is one of the most powerful medicines right now. That is Sisterhood. Share your truth. be courageous and vulnerable and in that, you provide another woman an opportunity to speak her truth and say “Wow, me too!”.
What did you learn from your mother? And how has this affected your life or relationships? And what action can you implement to begin to shift this pattern.